Using the "You Technique”
The “you technique” came up on a call recently, so I thought it timely to bring back the concept for those of you who may not have heard about it before.
After one of the sessions at Morning Show Boot Camp, a morning host said to me, “Wow, this information is so good.” I asked him what his biggest takeaway had been so far. He said, “Using the word ‘you’. I have never heard that before. Say ‘you’ instead of ‘I, me, we, or our’.”
I hear it on all formats, in all market sizes: the missed opportunity to connect with your audience by framing too much content, even liners, in terms of “I” rather than “you.” Only the most compelling communicators, and there are some, can engage an audience using mostly “I.” The subtlety of the shift will deepen your connection with the audience in intangible ways.
Not all best morning radio practices can be practiced off the air, but the “you technique” is one that you can implement in every single conversation you have. It’s so subtle, your friends and coworkers won’t even notice.
Five tips:
1. Particularly when starting a topic or doing a tease, use “you” rather than “I” or “we.” Hooks like “Did you ever notice…” and “If you’re like me, you…” are used by stand-up comedians all the time.
2. Refer to co-hosts by name rather than as “you.” When you refer to each other as “you” rather than by name, you inadvertently exclude the audience.
Rather than “You had a crazy weekend…” say “Danny had a crazy weekend. What happened?” or “Danny, you had a crazy weekend…” to show that you are shifting focus momentarily from speaking to the audience to speaking to someone in the room.
3. Never refer to the audience as “they,” “the listeners,” “people out there,” “everybody,” or the worst offender, “everyone out in radioland.” Radio is an intimate, one-on-one conversation.
4. Frame giveaways in terms of "you," not the station... e.g., “If you want to see Sabrina Carpenter, call now” rather than “We’re giving away Sabrina Carpenter tickets, call now…”
5. Before recording interviews or going live, coach guests and experts who are not radio-trained to speak one-on-one to listeners, and their message will connect more as well. (They won't say "everyone out there," for example.)
There are exceptions to every rule. When you’re being self-deprecating or vulnerable, the use of ‘I’ can be powerful. President George H.W. Bush was quoted speaking about his legacy (note when he chose to use “I” and when he used “we”): “I think history will point out some of the things I did wrong and maybe even some of the things we did right."
Be intentional about the words you choose. Use “I” to be vulnerable, honest, or revealing. Use “we” to be inclusive. “We” is you and the listener, not you and your cohosts. Use “you” to put the listener into your story.
Examples:
Check out Jimmy Fallon’s emotional tribute to Robin Williams from 2014 to see the “you” technique in action. You know he’s talking about his own experience with Williams, but by using “you,” he makes the segment about all of us, not just him. Some examples:
* “We, like all of you, were shaken up a bit yesterday…”
* “If you ever saw this guy do stand up,...”
* “If you don’t know his stand-up, you should YouTube it…”
* “And you’d watch him, and you’d cry laughing, and you’d think,...”
Example 2 of the YOU technique in action: Mr. Rogers' acceptance speech
Example 3: Anderson Cooper talks about swimming with sharks
The first time I saw the shark coming toward me, and eventually going over me a couple of feet away, there's this moment when you're looking at it, and it's looking at you, and it's a question of who's going to blink first...
When you see them coming...
When they're coming right at you, as scared as you are, as scared as I was at least, you can't help but marvel at the sheer power of them. (Note that he says I when being vulnerable about being scared.)
Example 4: Mel Robbins podcast, here's the link to one of her episodes. She uses “you” in all her episodes, especially in the setup, and better than most.
Keep showing up!
~ Angela